ooh la la!

lots of fun goodies and stuffs to peep in the store! i worked up quite a hunger on my listing rampage today (maybe it was the top chef marathon i had on?) so i am way stoked that my great friend mike is taking me out to figaro tonight. maybe my french language skills will finally come in handy? maybe i will force him to eat escargot? hmm...

the horses are coming, so you better run.

the apartment hunt is in full swing, and i am debating an earlier "move out" date. i found a place i ahh-dore from the photos and description (hardwood floors! french windows! dressing room with built-in vanity! eat in kitchen!) but i am afraid if i fall in true love irl i will either: be sad if someone else moves in between now and the 15th, or; give the landlord all my money to move in and not eat for two weeks. gah.

late on buying contacts= angry corneas and becoming a forced four eyes. oh, and by the way, boys DO make passes on girls who wear glasses; apparently wearing spectacles puts me on par with weirdos, because i have had to gently let down two chuckleheads this week with the wonderful "i have a boyfriend, and he gets mad" excuse. ahh my angry invisible boyfriend, i love him.

watch out, my invisible boyfriend knows kung-fu.

the new tattoo hurts and feels tremendously disgusting, and reminds me of past lives filled with diseases affecting the skin. i can't wait till it's all healed and lovely.

i have also been hard at work with a tiny facelift for the shop, launching this week! annnd i'm debating starting a tumblr?! which is odd since i pretty much don't really understand it. but i'm kind of wanting a spot for pretty pictures + littlestuffs i like. tumblr is good for this, no?

also, i am secretly obsessed with this song:




i listen to the radio and pray for it to come on, and when it does it makes my shoulders dance. shh.

so much for that.

i guess i spoke too soon.

at least i got to call 911 for the first time- how exciting!

instead of a quiet night i decided to play a rousing game of "listen to gunfire outside my window." the end of the game is when i tell my roommate i'm moving out next month! here's to december 1st, my new studio apartment, and getting the hell outta the ghetto!

quiet night

at home tonight. no wine, just tea, cigarettes, and a recently thrifted book of woody allen commentary. and perhaps a little mad men? i've finally discovered a show that lives up to the hype. [[i am not even a casual fan of LOST, or GLEE, or JERSEY SHORE.]] every scene is a fanciful little morsel of vintage-y goodness. i find myself having to rewind constantly because i am so busy drooling over the imagery that i have no idea how the plot has progressed. oh, if only my little red netflix envelopes would come faster!

here's to hoping green tea doesn't have a substantial amount of caffeine? i'm feelin so cozy that i'm almost ready for a second mug.

i am in an emotional recession.

did i curse myself?

I think I have made a series of bad emotional investments in my life that are catching up with me all at once.

When it comes to relationships and friendship, some people give a little bit of themselves to a lot of people. Other people give a lot of themselves to only a few. I belong steadfastly to the latter group. I don't make a place in my heart for people that I don't intend to keep there for a long long time. It's hard to love people, and I want to do it right.

You don't invest in people solely for the return, but you'd also like to think you might be able to cash in a little bit one day if you ever need it. Being in a new town without any real support system makes you look around for people to lean on. To call and complain to, to text something funny to, to bbm a conversation you wish you could be having on their couch to, to drink a bottle of wine and get silly with. Just knowing someone SOMEWHERE wants to give you a hug feels more amazing than ever. Perhaps this new feeling of being far away from everything has made me acutely aware of people I can really count on in my life. And those that I can't, I guess.

It feels like the people who are most in need of unconditional love and support are often the least likely to understand and accept it. It's ridiculous to believe there is no such thing as a lost cause. But when do you consider yours lost? Do you exhaust every option, continue to excuse them, and have blind faith that your best efforts aren't being wasted? If you're stronger than they are, should you allow yourself to shoulder more of the burden in the relationship? Or does that make you a fool.

When do you stop trying, give up, and let go?

Having to essentially write-off three people this year has been EPICALLY taxing on me. It's the worst feeling in the world to realize a person who you thought was forever just isn't; and no letter you write, text you send, or phone conversation you have will make it any different. It has made me look at every friend I make and every date I go on in this new city as a future failure. It makes me not even want to try anymore. I think they call that... putting up walls? How depressing.

I can't give people less than my best. But I feel like people have been getting the best of me.

WAH.




lyrics.
One time in college I remember discussing the double entendre of this song with this REALLY cute boy I was making out with at the time. AWW.

when you get old and start losing your hair...

so my best friend Ashley got married this weekend. when we were 13, she used to tell me (and everyone who would listen) that her wedding would be exactly like this: she would be wearing a red dress, drinking Snapple, and marrying Taylor Hanson. needless to say, none of her pre-nuptial premonitions came to fruition: she wore the loveliest white dress; we drank champagne (well, i drank much more than just that, eee); and she married a man that was decidedly less feminine than the middle Hanson brother (but no less adorable.)

it was an amazing honor to be a bridesmaid in the wedding of a girl who you have called a friend for over half your life. i can only hope that the bride had an equally amazing time as i this past wedding weekend.

my time was made totes-rad by a wonderful group of people:



firstly of course my most beloved best friends. who are really more like the sisters i have never had.



the absolute funniest/ most fun people i have ever known



and theee most beautiful!




nicole, the HOTTEST pregnant chick anyone has ever SEEN!




holly, whose wedding i am SO excited/honored to bring my bridesmaid skillz to next year!



also of course my best-i-could-have-asked-for date jason, who's creeper 'stache, asian glow, photography tips, and scotch drinking were a real comfort to me. and also who took...



this amazing photo of me hopefully(?) sealing my fate as next in line.

ALSO special props to:


for having THEEE raddest fro i have seen in quite some time.

and LEST WE NOT FORGET:

my tarty mom, who has apparently taken it upon herself to pick up the tarty dressing habits of her lovely daughter.

oh ya, and my pops:


whose photo really quite obviously needs no explanation.

ANYWAY,


thanks Ashley and Bill for a WONDERFUL weekend.

and thanks Ashley,


for just being the FUCKING BEST. LOVE YOU!!!

phew.

fact #1: weddings are madness.
fact #2: they are always worth the trouble.

this weekend was amazing, and it went by way too fast! i'm spending tonight cuddling with my lil grems (who missed me waaayyy too much) and will update tomorrow when i am done with rainy night recovery mode.